Thoughts on motherhood
It is days like today when I need my dairy free dark chocolate the most. Some red vino would be nice along with it, but that will have to wait another month.Oh motherhood. We all have those days don't we? Whether you are dealing with a stubborn toddler or a headstrong teen, sometimes you wonder if all you do really matters and makes a difference in their lives. "Hello did you hear what I just said???"In my case I have moody strong willed girls who love hard and fight hard, and a daredevil constantly scratching (horrible eczema) himself to death in this Florida humidity to the point of drawing blood 17 month old son. Oh and I'm 35 weeks pregnant.Today was an itchy day. Lots of rashes. Having to pull the car over to get him to stop scratching his wrists so the skin didn't break....again .... kind of day.Epic cat fits between my girls. Loading the crew up at the dinner hour for swimming lessons, drive 30 minutes, get rained out, drive home in torrential rain while everyone screams, cries, and whines kind of day.And now the house is quiet, and I am enjoying my dairy free dark chocolate, and really I have to laugh. I made it through today! It wasn't always pretty, but I made it. We made it! Yes, there were "OMG I want to pull all my hair out" moments, but there were also sweet, funny, tender moments the four of us shared if I will only take the time to chill out and look for them. I know I will miss these days when they are grown with families of their own. And I know serving these children of mine as their mother is my calling in life. I am blessed to cook, clean, teach, love, and be there in the good and bad moments of their day everyday.I realize more and more that they are the ones who are actually changing me, little by little, as they teach me more about patience, perseverance, and unconditional love. It is in those "heat of the moment" moments when I have the opportunity to change the most, when I can grow just a tiny bit more patient or a inch more loving. Because isn't that what unconditional love really is? Loving our children through the tantrums, and in the process trying our best not to have a tantrum of our own :)