The things we tell ourselves, the good and the bad, they shape our attitude and our behavior. “I’m so fat” or “I’m so ugly,” powerful lies we tell ourselves especially as young girls who then grow up to be insecure women. We begin to believe the negative internal dialogue.
I believe changing our internal dialogue can change our lives. A simple “I can do this,” verses “I can’t do this” thought creates a negative or positive attitude, and a positive attitude is the most powerful weapon we have toward adversity.
You know the theory, you cannot control what happens to you, only how you react to what happens to you. When I am in the throws of a crazy day, breakfast dishes still in the sink, toothpaste crusted all over the bathroom sink, floor, and mirror, the girls are having an epic cat fight, the baby crying every time you put him down, it’s 2pm and you still have not had a shower, and dinner needs to be ready in an hour but you forgot to thaw the chicken. It’s those days I have a “gut check.” I played basketball for a coach in high school who told us when we were losing and it looked hopeless to do a “gut check.” Dig down deep, way down, to your gut, and see what’s there, what you are made of.
My amazing parents constantly poured positive “power-statements” into us. “You can do this!” “You are capable!” “I am proud of you!” And it created three fearless females! My sisters and I grew up BELIEVING we were capable of anything, that we could accomplish anything we set out to do if we were willing to work for it, and most importantly no matter what our parents were proud of us.
Now as a mother I find myself constantly showering my children with “I love you’s,” but recently I wanted to be more specific and on-purpose with my “power-statements” if you will toward them. So every month I come up with 3 power-statements for each child (although Wit’s power-statements are simply kisses right now).
Then when I am tucking their precious faces in bed, and we are cheek to cheek I whisper, “You are beautiful, you are smart, I’m proud of you, and I love you.” The smile spreading across their face and twinkle in their eye of pure contentment and feeling of love and belonging makes my heart melt. I spend time thinking about the words each child specifically needs to hear at the time in her life.
I know I can’t control the hardship my children will face in their lifetime, but I can control how I prepare them for it. And I want more than anything for them to know at the end of the day that they are enough. They are capable. They are powerful. They are beautiful. They are loved, and their dad and I are super proud of them.